This documentary’s playing at the Tribeca film festival this week. I of course missed this. But just from watching the entrancing trailer, you can see that the film is good and that it’s protagonist, Masoud, an elderly shark fisherman is a force of nature and a part of nature. I will be looking for this film when it gets wider release.
It looks like the story of man who has mastered his craft.
Watched this b-movie gem last night. I grew up with a fascination for Blaxpoitation films. This movie captures the essence and hilarity of those low budget pictures.
I first got turned on to them in High School when one of the cool cats from the Theater Department slipped me this mix tape called, “Pimps Players & Private Eyes.” That tape opened my eyes to a genre of film that my honky eyes never knew existed. To this day, I can still recite the lyrics to theme songs for both Shaft & Shaft 2.
Black Dynamite, along with being funny, was also a great reminder of what it means to be a man, a man’s man, who don’t take shit from no one and fights the good fight and gets the ladies.
This months Alpha Inspiration is Black Dynamite!
Can be a good thing. I tend to plug my nose between the pages of a book while flying so as to avoid talking to the guy next to me. Or, I’ll keep quiet when riding up an elevator with others. I don’t want to make things awkward.
All that’s changing as I change. Rather than passively waiting for someone to talk, I am now actively engaging the girl behind the checkout counter, the security guard at my office, the stranger on the elevator all as a means of building my confidence and lessening my approach anxiety.
My father is great at this. I used to be embarrassed by his talking to strangers. But as I’ve gotten older, I’ve learned to appreciate his ability to open people. I also realized that I too have the ability, but I allowed the awkwardness I felt when I was witnessing him talk to strangers to effect my interactions.
I’ve been framing it all wrong. I’ve been thinking that I’d be a disruption to others. From here on out, I am not a disruption. I am going to add value to their day. I am going to break down the steely barriers of this city and make it work in my favor. I’ve been experimenting with this over the past month, consciously engaging strangers in conversation. I can open people, keeping the banter and conversation going only becomes a challenge when I get nervous and stop listening to the person and instead listen to my thoughts.
When it comes down to it, you have to build your inner game to take action. That’s what I keep finding as I scour the internet for blogs about change and working out of mediocrity. And that’s just it, even with talking to people, my inner game, my self-confidence/ self-esteem, whatever you want to call, has felt lacking. On some level, I don’t feel good about who I am, even though on the surface I look like a well put together man.
So, as I talk to people, to strangers, I am in a constant fight with the inner demon of doubt that says, “you’re weird to be talking to these people, to this beautiful girl, to anyone.” What the demon doesn’t realize though is that Captain Action’s come to town, and he don’t give a fuck about being weird. Captain Action wants to enjoy his time here, and as he gets stronger and stronger, that inner doubt demon is gonna get smaller and smaller and smaller.
This is something I’ve been feeling lately. I’m not proud of that feeling. In fact, it’s one of the core reasons I started this blog. Cowardice is a social label, but it is also a biological feeling, probably best described as “flight not fight.” I’m not saying I feel this all the time, but, the more I examine myself, evolutionary biology, my family history, my response to situations, I realize that I have often gravitated towards “flight”. Sure, I couch that impulse in good manners, niceness & my charms, but it still there, waiting like an ugly beast beneath my bed.
That’s a hard thing to admit. I have participated in many “fight” worthy activities: performing, high school football, college ruby, all pursuits that require a spine. Maybe that’s been the point of doing them. Maybe I was setting out to push back against that flight impulse. I suppose it’s always there, but the scales should be tilted more towards “fight’ if you want to make it in this world. I’m not just talking about a physical fight. A fully Action-oriented man should be able to fight with words, wits, and heart in his daily interactions. Hesitation should be replaced by action. It’s about getting your little primitive brain out-of-the-way.
I was catering an event last night, a high-profile Fashion Week party that featured some celeb attendees like, Willem Dafoe, Channing Tatum, & Marina Abramovic. They all have the common denominator of strong “fight” impulses. Marina, for those of you who don’t know her, is one of the most prolific, controversial, & challenging of performance artists still working today. She does things that would have made the Jackass crew cringe. Leaving the discussion of “art” out of this, her performance pieces have endangered and physically harmed her repeatedly. That takes fight. As for Willem Dafoe, you can see it in his eyes, his relaxed, alpha manner. To be an actor at his level, you must have fight. And Channing Tatum didn’t get to where he already is, sure his acting skills are questionable, without a healthy dose of rugged moxie. For the record, I’m not some sort of celebrity star-fucker. I don’t revere them. I just appreciate their efforts. Just as much as I appreciate the fighting efforts of illegal immigrants busting their asses in the backs of kitchens all across this city.
So where does this leave Captain Action in his quest towards nurturing his action instincts? I think what it means is I need to start incrementally enduring dangerous or unpleasant things. For instance, confrontation. If I’m in a movie theatre, like I was last Friday night, and someone’s foot keeps hitting the back of my chair. I will, though it may feel uncomfortable, turn around and say, “stop hitting the back of my chair with your foot.” Instead of letting my anxieties creep in and say, “you’ll be fine for two hours feeling that bump. It’s really just an accident.”
Starting with stupid little things like that, dealing with the small anxieties, readies one’s fight or flight response to be able to endure bigger and bigger challenges and confrontations. Just like the boxer grows accustomed over time to being punched but still punching back unflinchingly, so must I train my body & brain to bypass that pesky flight response. It can be done, it will be done, or my middle name isn’t…
I stumbled upon the PUA community by accident. I think I was looking for a meetup group for something unrelated, like working out outside. But as I was skimming the meetup website, it occurred to me that there may be a meetup group that helps guys learn better pick-up skills. I’m in a LTR, a married LTR. But, my lady and I had been going through some shit, which I’ll go into in later posts. Needless to say, I felt the need to step up my game. And once I started looking I found a deluge of information focused on male/ female dynamics as filtered through pick-up/ game/ evolutionary psychology.
I’m still learning, but thankfully my perspective has changed. I swallowed the “red pill.” This website, which is geared towards taking action, actually suits the PUA community quite well. To be an active participant outside of the matrix, you have to take action. You have to approach. You have to build value. You have to gain confidence. You have to lead. Though there are some scammy bastards out there teaching susceptible guys some of the more degrading and adolescent ways to bed women, I’ve been pleased to find that there are sites out there looking deeper into helping men become better men. When you get right down to it, whether bedding many ladies or living a fulfilled life, you have to be the best version of yourself, throwing in a little asshole from time to time doesn’t hurt either.
I’m still on a journey re-learning these skills that I should have taken from my Dad (a natural alpha) or other men and just starting to apply them to my own life and relationships. I thought being “nice” could take you places. Let me tell you, it only takes you down the road of mediocrity and disappointment. I have become very Beta over the years, eventhough, on the surface, I could be mistaken for an alpha. Though I didn’t really talk about it in the “About” section of this page, a lot of what I’ll be experimenting with and documenting will be focused on my reclaiming my Alpha traits. Wish me luck or fuck off.
